happiness.
i remember, my uncle once told me, "you were a very happy baby, a very cheerful baby, a baby who always enjoyed smiling, hmm, like a pistachio (in chinese, it is called 开心果)". at first i thought, wooo i am an angel who brought happiness to everyone around me, isn't that great? i felt proud. slowly, as time flew, the words came back to me with nothing special. "don't all babies make people around happy because they are cute?", i thought.
back when being a kid, i was very happy. just a simple cup of ice-cream or maybe the thought of i can see my friends in kindergarten when school came made me very much an excited and bubbly kid. happiness used to be a simple definition, which was a smile that came out sincerely from mind and heart. i guess, when we grow older, as our minds start to be mature and know more. this is when happiness becomes a needle in a haystack; something is always preventing one to be carefree. worries or stress is naturally the centre of everyone's mind. anything can be the main reason for one to overthink or worse, makes us stay up all night, causing insomnia. it is always very difficult to fake a smile and act like all these are nothing but, are you really happy doing this? is this really nothing for you? one will never, ever open up with anyone about these sadness because it will be interpreted as complains, a sense of weakness and pity in the eye of others. when these builds up in heart day by day, it is just a matter of time when you start to explode inside and handle your frustrations in the wrong way. i know, it is very difficult to not have problem dealing with this messed up society but let's face it, we have to eventually when we are out to work; isn't it better to learn how to adapt it now than later?
here i am to remind you that it is always okay to cry and be unhappy; it is very normal to be sad once in a while. it is fine to trust people with your problems; it will be alright, i promise. your walls might break; you might blame yourself for not being strong enough but that is normal. the key is happiness is to appreciate the things and people that you have around you; those who stuck up to you when you were in difficulties. i know, you might think that no one will understand the pain you face, they can only listen but not feel the pain; please remember that everyone is facing the same devil, just different kinds of hell. finally, it is time to let go, darling. holding on will only bring nothing, but pain. once something has happened, we can never unwind time to fix things. i hope, you will not have nightmares tonight in your dreams; your mind will wander off to list after list of things you would do after you graduate; your mind will finally feel peace, for at least once.
happiness.
i remember, my uncle once told me, "you were a very happy baby, a very cheerful baby, a baby who always enjoyed smiling, hmm, like a pistachio (in chinese, it is called 开心果)". at first i thought, wooo i am an angel who brought happiness to everyone around me, isn't that great? i felt proud. slowly, as time flew, the words came back to me with nothing special. "don't all babies make people around happy because they are cute?", i thought.
back when being a kid, i was very happy. just a simple cup of ice-cream or maybe the thought of i can see my friends in kindergarten when school came made me very much an excited and bubbly kid. happiness used to be a simple definition, which was a smile that came out sincerely from mind and heart. i guess, when we grow older, as our minds start to be mature and know more. this is when happiness becomes a needle in a haystack; something is always preventing one to be carefree. worries or stress is naturally the centre of everyone's mind. anything can be the main reason for one to overthink or worse, makes us stay up all night, causing insomnia. it is always very difficult to fake a smile and act like all these are nothing but, are you really happy doing this? is this really nothing for you? one will never, ever open up with anyone about these sadness because it will be interpreted as complains, a sense of weakness and pity in the eye of others. when these builds up in heart day by day, it is just a matter of time when you start to explode inside and handle your frustrations in the wrong way. i know, it is very difficult to not have problem dealing with this messed up society but let's face it, we have to eventually when we are out to work; isn't it better to learn how to adapt it now than later?
here i am to remind you that it is always okay to cry and be unhappy; it is very normal to be sad once in a while. it is fine to trust people with your problems; it will be alright, i promise. your walls might break; you might blame yourself for not being strong enough but that is normal. the key is happiness is to appreciate the things and people that you have around you; those who stuck up to you when you were in difficulties. i know, you might think that no one will understand the pain you face, they can only listen but not feel the pain; please remember that everyone is facing the same devil, just different kinds of hell. finally, it is time to let go, darling. holding on will only bring nothing, but pain. once something has happened, we can never unwind time to fix things. i hope, you will not have nightmares tonight in your dreams; your mind will wander off to list after list of things you would do after you graduate; your mind will finally feel peace, for at least once.
