23.
you and i, we're from two different dimensions. you liked blue while i preferred black. you loved sleeping while i loved writing and reading. you did not like music while i had every piece of playlist to suit the moods i have everyday. all these portraits how different we are and yet, we were still pulled together. i can never blame gravity for this because, who blames it for falling in love? truth is, i wouldn't do so even if i could. i know this well; i was warned ahead with red lights and i could foresee that this car will be driving off the bridge very soon. maybe, i chose to illustrate that the view ahead would be good and there will be only a few bumps and holes but not an complete end; was i stupid to think so?
those bittersweet memories that we made will always flash by once in a while like they are destined to follow and haunt me for life; i am not given any choices to choose letting go or suffer from this pain. i feel like i am stuck in a cold, black and four-walled room with every piece of our memory imprinted on these walls like stains that would not come off. i am forced to be reminded every time with the fact that i've once had you and lost you.
most times i ask myself, what was it that went wrong between us? what made you lose hopes in us? do you remember when you told me you will never leave? do you remember any of those because i remember them very well. when the rain comes, i will think of the day when you wiped my tears, telling me i looked cute when i cry. when i see a football court, i naturally flash back to the time where your worried eyes focused on me when i tripped and fell during training. i think about us too naturally; you have an ability to control my mind to miss you and it stings because i know damn well i do not have the permission to.
i do not always wish for anything to happen but at this moment, i wish i never replied to any of your texts when my phone was taken away, i wish my heart did not flutter when you called me beautiful, i wish i did not return your hug and the list goes on; i wish i did not cross paths with you.
now that this has come to an end, we have both lived without each other for two years. you have a beautiful and bright future ahead while i have dreams and goals to achieve; you might have forgotten about me while i will always miss you once in a while. thank you for teaching me how to love, telling me not to give up because i am always stronger than i think i am, being there for me when i was at my lowest and loving me when i did not love myself enough. i have learned that i will never be able to let go but i promise, i won't be demoralized anymore; i will be happy again.
"for what it's worth: it is never too late to be whoever you want to be. i hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, i hope you have the strength to start over."
23.
you and i, we're from two different dimensions. you liked blue while i preferred black. you loved sleeping while i loved writing and reading. you did not like music while i had every piece of playlist to suit the moods i have everyday. all these portraits how different we are and yet, we were still pulled together. i can never blame gravity for this because, who blames it for falling in love? truth is, i wouldn't do so even if i could. i know this well; i was warned ahead with red lights and i could foresee that this car will be driving off the bridge very soon. maybe, i chose to illustrate that the view ahead would be good and there will be only a few bumps and holes but not an complete end; was i stupid to think so?
those bittersweet memories that we made will always flash by once in a while like they are destined to follow and haunt me for life; i am not given any choices to choose letting go or suffer from this pain. i feel like i am stuck in a cold, black and four-walled room with every piece of our memory imprinted on these walls like stains that would not come off. i am forced to be reminded every time with the fact that i've once had you and lost you.
most times i ask myself, what was it that went wrong between us? what made you lose hopes in us? do you remember when you told me you will never leave? do you remember any of those because i remember them very well. when the rain comes, i will think of the day when you wiped my tears, telling me i looked cute when i cry. when i see a football court, i naturally flash back to the time where your worried eyes focused on me when i tripped and fell during training. i think about us too naturally; you have an ability to control my mind to miss you and it stings because i know damn well i do not have the permission to.
i do not always wish for anything to happen but at this moment, i wish i never replied to any of your texts when my phone was taken away, i wish my heart did not flutter when you called me beautiful, i wish i did not return your hug and the list goes on; i wish i did not cross paths with you.
now that this has come to an end, we have both lived without each other for two years. you have a beautiful and bright future ahead while i have dreams and goals to achieve; you might have forgotten about me while i will always miss you once in a while. thank you for teaching me how to love, telling me not to give up because i am always stronger than i think i am, being there for me when i was at my lowest and loving me when i did not love myself enough. i have learned that i will never be able to let go but i promise, i won't be demoralized anymore; i will be happy again.
"for what it's worth: it is never too late to be whoever you want to be. i hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, i hope you have the strength to start over."
